Last year, I bought a Ford SVT Lightning. Ford has been sending me gifts. First, it was a hat.

Then, it was a book.

Now, it is a certificate. My truck is number 212 of a limited build of 3781 (by color. So we are talking about model year 2004 and color Dark Shadow Grey Clearcoat).

Yesterday, I received this in the mail:

They say:

We are holding pre-paid round trip airfair and accommodations for
two to your choice of Las Vegas/Orlando, value $1,250.00, in your
name, plus one of the four guaranteed prizes: A Hummer, Navigator
or Yukon Denali or $40,000 CASH, a $1,500 Shopping Spree, Exotic
Island Adventure, $806 value or $500.00 Cash.

Ok, let’s parse this statement out. Normally a list is item1 comma item2 comma item3 or item4. There are six commas. There are three ors. When items in a list contain commas then they should have used semicolons to separate them. But, they did not. Also notice there are two variations of cash capitalization. So, how can I parse this list?

• A Hummer
• Navigator or Yukon Denali or $40,000 CASH
• a $1,500 Shopping Spree, Exotic Island Adventure, $806 value
• $500.00 Cash

• A Hummer, Navigator or Yukon Denali
• $40,000 CASH
• a $1,500 Shopping Spree, Exotic Island Adventure, $806 value
• $500.00 Cash

• A Hummer
• Navigator or Yukon Denali
• $40,000 CASH
• a $1,500 Shopping Spree, Exotic Island Adventure, $806 value or $500.00 Cash

Or many more combinations. You get the picture.

Its not like this is the first mailing that I have received from these people. I receive them about once every three months. I wonder at what point mailing these cards to me will cost more money they they can make? If they did not mail these cards to people who will never contact them, how much more valuable prizes can they offer to the fools who do buy timeshares from them?